blaien asked for: “k&b kiss in front of burt for the first time and it’s all super fluffy and wonderful” and for some reason I declared that this must entail Kurt and Blaine dancing around baking cookies and singing "Coconut" by Harry Nilsson. Why? No one knows… >_> This is so fluffy that I think I have a cavity now.
"Oh, god, this is my jam,” Blaine moans. He frantically hits the volume button on Kurt’s laptop and dances across the kitchen.
"Coconut by Harry Nilsson is your jam," Kurt says dryly, folding the cookie dough in the stainless steel bowl on the counter in front of him carefully.
"Bruder bought a coconut, he bought it for a dime," Blaine sings, dancing back across the kitchen in the opposite direction.
Kurt giggles. “You’re crazy.”
"His sister had anudder one she paid it for de lime," Blaine answers. "She put de lime in de coconut, she drank ‘em bot’ up." He does the Walk Like an Egyptian Dance back and forth in front of Kurt.
"Is this because we’re making coconut macaroons?" Kurt asks.
Which turns out to be the tipping point for the most random insanity he’s ever taken part of—Blaine declares that this must be a duet, and that they must be in costume, and that they need to reenact something awesome.
"Princess Diana’s coronation," Kurt gasps giddily.
Which isn’t complete without superheroes, naturally. Blaine declares himself to be the Tropical Avenger and Kurt to be the evil Doctor Macaroon.
"And what will you avenge?" Kurt asks.
"Fruity cocktails," Blaine answers, and puts the song on repeat, and dancing Kurt in circles sings, "She call de doctor, woke ‘im up."
Kurt sings back, “Said, ‘Doctor, ain’t there nothin’ I can take?’”
"Costumes!" Blaine declares; Kurt flees the room and comes back with a baby blanket of his that’s covered in little coconuts and drapes it around Blaine’s shoulders. He fashions Blaine a crown out of parchment paper and edible glitter (he is very serious about decorating his macaroons, okay?) and gives him a wooden spoon for a scepter.
"I said, ‘Doctor, to relieve this belly ache, I said Doctor’!" Blaine swoops around the kitchen, baby blanket flying, glitter-covered crown slipping sideways across his head.
Kurt flails. “Cookies!” He sets the timer on the oven and then dances back over to Blaine, hips wiggling. “Now lemme get this straight—” Blaine strikes a pose and he cracks up. “Well, you got the fruity part right, anyway—”
"You need a costume, Kurt, Princess Diana cannot be crowned by someone without a costume!" He puts a coconut shell bowl on Kurt’s head and gives him a whisk for his very own scepter. "I’ll have to defeat you to ensure the coronation goes off without a hitch."
"Why am I the bad guy?" Kurt shrieks. Blaine brandishes his wooden spoon and Kurt meets it with his whisk. They parry and thrust across the kitchen.
"I just can’t rock the villain role, come on," Blaine says, and chases Kurt around the kitchen table. "You’re such a silly woman; put the lime in the coconut and call me in the morning, yes call me in the morning."
"If you call me in the morning, I’ll tell you what to do!" Kurt shrieks, giggling, as Blaine tackles him from behind; Blaine’s parchment glitter crown topples off, showering them both in glitter. "Oh my god."
Blaine grins, shaking like a dog and then smashing their faces together, rubbing the glitter everywhere.
"Blaine!" Kurt shrieks. The spoon is covered in frosting so of course Blaine smears it all over Kurt’s mouth and cheek and then begins licking it off. He grabs the bowl off of Kurt’s head and then plops the parchment paper crown atop it. "And it’s official. Your dastardly plot is foiled once again."
"You are certifiable," Kurt breathes; they are both covered in flour and glitter and frosting and Blaine is wearing a baby blanket for a cape.
Blaine wraps two arms around his neck and kisses him, soft and slow, lapping frosting off of his lips. Kurt giggles, blushing, and kisses back until he’s dizzy and shaking.
Someone clears their throat near the kitchen door.
Burt eyes them, “You boys need any help in here?” He looks around. “Like a clean-up crew or something?”
"Oh," Kurt breathes, pulling away from Blaine’s lips. "Sorry, Dad."
"Just—get on it, okay?" He smiles, watching them, an affection glint in his eye. "And make another batch of those. You know your brother is going to eat the whole first one by himself." Burt smirks at them. "Love the get-ups."
The moment they’re alone Blaine kisses him again, singing, “Now lemme get this straight—you put the lime in the coconut—”
Kurt giggles, kissing his lips shut. “Help me roll some more cookies, Tropical Avenger.”
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